And so this is Christmas

It is quite a special time of year, isn't it? People rushing you out of your parking space with a honk, tsk-ing noises behind you at long retail lines, and plenty of generalized anxiety in the air. Ah Christmas.

This year, it seems very appropriate to Zen myself out, big time. I would suggest that you do the same. If only it were that easy. But every day, at some point, I make an effort. Stop the body, stop the thoughts and ultimately stop the mind. Jon Kabat-Zinn writes, "We have only moments to live." At first glance you might be frightened by that news. However the truth behind the statement is much more profound. We all live in the moments of our consciousness- whether those moments are in the present, past or future is your choice. But it seems pretty wasteful to spend any amount of time with your psyche in any time period other than the time that is right about now.

Good Advice

At a Christmas party last weekend, I talked with a mother of three at length about the gig of mothering. Her youngest is 7 and her piece of wisdom for me was to not be bothered about the state of my home. "Don't worry about keeping the place clean, just enjoy your children," she said. Seemed like good enough advice.

So I tried it.

By day two I was so upset with the state of my home that I couldn't enjoy my child.

I would LOVE to see that woman's house. I bet it's a REAL craphole.

The Challenge

It's really hard to blog about being All Zenned Out without talking about Helena. There is no one more present, more in the now, more aware than Helena. She reminds me everyday that the only thing that matters is what is imminent. To Helena, there is no past or future, there is only what is happening at that very second. As evidenced by her tearful rejection of a meal, followed seconds later by her gobbling it up. If only we were all so resilient.

It Happens

That famous expression, "sh*t happens" can only be truly understood by moms. Moms, you know what I'm talking about. Because when "sh*t happens." and you are just a guy getting splashed by pooled rainwater, that's your problem. When you are the mother of an infant and "sh*t happens" it's everybody's problem. And yes, I'm taking this phrase literally.

I can't tell you how many awesome experiences I've had with "sh*t happening" in the past 20 months. I'd like to see a Zen Master deal with a classic baby diaper blow-out, in a car seat, at Babies-r-us, right before nap time, 30 minutes from home, needing to nurse. Did I mention that it was a filthy Babies-r-us?

I thought about this today because in the middle of Bloomies I noticed that Helena was soaked. Luckily, I was at Bloomies in the middle of a major sale and I grabbed a new pair of pants and changed her clothes. Problem solved! But it made me think about all the times that "sh*t happened" and I had to chuckle.

Well????

Alright, so everyone is on the edge of their seats wondering how my 14 days as a vegan turned out. Truth be told it was probably more like 11 days. And I did lose 2 pounds. But I'd like to summarize my experience by telling a very embarrassing story about myself.

It was 2002ish and I was still trying to eliminate those college lbs that just wouldn't quit. I guess I had seen an Oprah or something and it was recommended to keep a food diary when you are trying to get on a healthy diet.

Great idea.

I went out, bought a nice little journal and decided that by writing down everything I ate I would be sure to tackle the problem areas head-on.

Fast forward to a few years ago when my mom and I were cleaning out my closet when she uncovered said journal. She pulled it out and flipped through a page or two and was immediately cackling. I grabbed the book and took a look for myself and when Denver came to see about the commotion it was all too much. We were in tears of laughter- the kind of laughter that makes you red in the face and you are forced to sweat out the humor, literally.

Suffice to say that my "food journal" lasted about a week and by mid-week of week 1, I was ordering by number and having multiples of things that don't grow on trees, or anywhere for that matter.

While this experiment was not as unsuccessful, it was still indicative of my varying degrees of will-power.

How did I get here

A reasonable question to ask is, "How did Kristen get to a point where she feels the need to go vegan?" Truth be told, the jean ripping incident was probably just a tipping point of sorts.

Denver and I have been reading about nutrition at length over the past year. Below is our bibliography. We've gotten to be Western-Diet-Adverse, as we call it. Basically our collective reading has lead us to eat lots of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, beans, nuts, and VERY little meat. We eat some fish, but very little dairy and any dairy should be fermented (yogurt, kefir, etc). And I tell you what, I feel pretty darn good.

The China Study by Colin Campbell
Eat, Drink and Be Healthy by Walter Willett
Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan
Food Rules by Michael Pollan
Anti-Cancer by David Servan-Schreiber
Eat To Live by Joel Fuhrman

Day 8: I can't believe I'm doing this

Half way there, more than half way there actually, and I can't believe I'm still doing this. Why am I doing this again? Oh, that's right, for a free pair of jeans....MAYBE. Jeesh. Seems like a pretty weak gamble.

So I've had some very minor slip ups over the past 8 days. A bit of butter here, a little shrimp there, maybe an egg white over here. I'm not totally militant about this project so I'm trying not to judge my misdemeanors. You shouldn't either.

I've been day dreaming of how I would break my fast, if you will. I keep coming back to big cheese pizza but I was hoping to get more creative than that. REALLY big cheese pizza?

Day 5- kind of vegan

The hardest thing about being vegan is the cooking. What to cook??? I searched the internet for the best vegan recipes I could find but pickings were slim. So last night we enjoyed day THREE of polenta with spicy tomato basil sauce. I had had it with that dish. Denver was less discerning.

"I just LOVE this dish, you have to make it again."

"Never"

"Why do you never re-make the recipes that I love?"

"You know how it's really hard for you to spend money but really easy for me to spend money?"

"Yeah?"

"That's because you made the money."

"Gotcha."

Day Four: Still Vegan

It's getting easier, this being Vegan thing. Although yesterday, as I was ordering my Decaf Soy Hazelnut Latte (which is delicious, I might add), I grabbed a yogurt parfait and as I was handing over my payment realized, 'yogurt isn't vegan.' Luckily the coffee shop had vegan muffins- which were delicious as well! Who knew?

Is Vegan supposed to be capitalized? Hmmm.

So being Vegan is really intense because almost everything we eat has animal products of some sort in them. So anything with butter is out- leaving nuts and berries and green things. But I tell you what, the more you read about animal products the less you will want to eat them too. I'm not making a political statement or a lifestyle change with this stunt- it's just food for thought. Literally.

I'm going Vegan for 14 days

I knew that would get the attention of ye old meat-lovers. Don't get me wrong, I love meat just as much as the next guy. But here is the thing. Last night I was trying on a new pair of jeans before we went out to dinner. This was a big night out because, well frankly, any night out is a big night out. Back to the jeans- these were my normal size from my favorite brand (neither detail will I divulge because you will know far too much about me by then) and brand spanking new, never been worn, tags still fresh. So I shimmy them on, one leg at a time careful inching the fabric up up up. Hmmm, I thought, they did seem snug but hey, they are new so I'll just keep on shimmying. I did my normal hip-hip-up move with a few quick squats and *SNAP*. Those silly silly tight tight jeans busted right below the pocket. Otherwise known as the behind.

Later at dinner in my more broken-in pair of skinny jeans, Denver suggests that I go vegan for 14 days. He went vegan for a week and lost 5 pounds. He thinks if I go vegan for two weeks I'll lose 7 pounds. And if I don't, he'll buy me a new pair of jeans. Deal. Wait, are cupcakes vegan?

So here I am, day one. I've had a banana smoothie, a tasteless bean burrito, a Mix 1 protein drink and a few almonds. I feel pretty good. I might pass out, but I feel pretty good.

I'm baaaaaaack!

All of that getting pregnant and having a baby stuff really took it out of me. Well, I'm happy to say that I figured out the whole motherhood thing and now I'm ready to get back to blogging. Hip hip hooray!! Okay, so that isn't entirely true. I guess I've just found more time. OH and I've stumbled onto some really cool stuff and I want to share it with you, whoever you are anymore.